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Category: Birth

Moving on from birth trauma

Moving on from birth trauma

A few weeks ago I finally had my much anticipated/dreaded debrief. As I covered in a previous post, it was ridiculously difficult to even get this booked. As the date loomed, I could feel a lot of my old emotions around the birth coming back and I started to sleep badly again. I would get into bed and struggle to fall asleep, just going over the birth again and again. Months ago I used to get this visual of the…

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Reflecting on the past few months

Reflecting on the past few months

It’s been quite a while since my last blog post and I’m not really sure why. I’ve been going through some funny phases recently and just felt I didn’t have anything interesting to say (no change now really), plus I’d kind of fallen out of love with Instagram for some reason. But something as momentous as a New Year deserves a blog post. Quite a lot has happened over the past few months, and I’ll do my best to remember…

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Advice I would give myself

Advice I would give myself

Now that I’ve finally started to be able to talk and think clearly about the birth, I’ve been reflecting a lot about those hazy, early days of motherhood. Looking at the above picture makes me quite sad – it was the day we finally left hospital and I had no idea what was coming. In that moment I was scared but I was excited about going home with our precious baby. I didn’t know that the minute I stepped outside…

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Counselling for Post Natal PTSD/Birth Trauma

Counselling for Post Natal PTSD/Birth Trauma

I’ve spoken before about my feelings about what happened at Joseph’s birth and how it left me traumatised. It was a long road to getting help, but I have just completed my 10th and final CBT session and I’m so happy to report that I now feel totally different about the birth. I actually can’t believe I can sit here and say this, when only a matter of weeks ago I couldn’t tell anyone about the birth without crying. As…

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Who am I now? 

Who am I now? 

Before I had Joseph I knew I would change, but I didn’t quite grasp just how I would lose my identity and gain a new, unfamiliar one. It’s been a struggle adjusting to being this new person, and to be honest a lot of the time I feel a bit detached from things, like I’m on autopilot. That could be down to how I feel about the birth, but could just be down to being a new mum. Looking back…

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When sadness turns to anger 

When sadness turns to anger 

From the moment I got out of hospital after giving birth, I’ve felt so much sadness about everything that happened there. This sadness has been with me every day and is crippling at times. However, recently I’ve become aware of a change in how I am viewing what happened during Joseph’s birth and I only realised it the other day when I was having a therapy session. I’ve been having CBT for the past 6 weeks and I’m finally starting…

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My experience with birth trauma 

My experience with birth trauma 

To most people I think I look like I’m dealing with things and am generally ok. The truth is that ever since Joseph’s birth I have suffered with Post Natal PTSD. There is a lot of information about post natal depression but not so much on Post Natal PTSD – I hadn’t even heard of it before.  The Pandas website explains it quite well: According to the DSM-IV diagnosis of anxiety disorders, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), occurs following an event…

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My birth story 

My birth story 

It’s hard for me to write about this, and it’s taken me many attempts, but I feel like I should. Who knows, it may be cathartic for me to get it all out! I had a very traumatic birth, so much so that I am currently having therapy for Post Natal PTSD. A lot of people who know me don’t even know this, but it’s quite hard to talk about. I was almost two weeks overdue when Joseph arrived. I’d…

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Recovering from a C Section

Recovering from a C Section

As I’ll cover in another post I had an emergency c section. It completely took me by surprise and as such I wasn’t prepared for it at all. It also wasn’t really touched upon in our antenatal classes so I thought it was worth a post all of its own! I know having a vaginal birth has its own problems and there are pros and cons of both, and I know that everyone’s experience is different but I can only…

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Ten things I won’t miss about being pregnant

Ten things I won’t miss about being pregnant

This post is really so I won’t forget what it was like to be pregnant! If we ever find ourselves considering having another one, I’ll make myself read this again before deciding. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m incredibly lucky to have fallen pregnant and had a healthy baby, but the pregnancy (and birth) was no walk in the park. I’ll never forget taking that pregnancy test. I was on my way home from work and I just had…

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