When sadness turns to anger 

When sadness turns to anger 

From the moment I got out of hospital after giving birth, I’ve felt so much sadness about everything that happened there. This sadness has been with me every day and is crippling at times. However, recently I’ve become aware of a change in how I am viewing what happened during Joseph’s birth and I only realised it the other day when I was having a therapy session. I’ve been having CBT for the past 6 weeks and I’m finally starting…

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Having a big baby

Having a big baby

I had a feeling pretty early on in my pregnancy that I would have a big baby. Me and my brothers were big babies and are all tall, and Nick was a big baby. Plus my enormous bump gave me the biggest clue! At my 30 week midwife appointment, my midwife measured my bump and told me I was measuring ‘a bit big’ so she was going to send me for a growth scan at the hospital. She also said…

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A letter to Joseph at 4 months old

A letter to Joseph at 4 months old

Dear Joseph, I can’t believe you are 4 months old already. You have brought us so much joy, since the moment we found out I was pregnant. You are the happiest baby I’ve ever known, you smile when you wake up, when you go to sleep, and whenever we look at you. I didn’t think it was possible to love anyone as much as we love you. When you grow up, I want you to know that we will support…

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My experience with birth trauma 

My experience with birth trauma 

To most people I think I look like I’m dealing with things and am generally ok. The truth is that ever since Joseph’s birth I have suffered with Post Natal PTSD. There is a lot of information about post natal depression but not so much on Post Natal PTSD – I hadn’t even heard of it before.  The Pandas website explains it quite well: According to the DSM-IV diagnosis of anxiety disorders, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), occurs following an event…

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My birth story 

My birth story 

It’s hard for me to write about this, and it’s taken me many attempts, but I feel like I should. Who knows, it may be cathartic for me to get it all out! I had a very traumatic birth, so much so that I am currently having therapy for Post Natal PTSD. A lot of people who know me don’t even know this, but it’s quite hard to talk about. I was almost two weeks overdue when Joseph arrived. I’d…

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Realisations about motherhood

Realisations about motherhood

Motherhood teaches us many things. Some of them have surprised me, some not so much! I still have a lot to learn, but here’s what I’ve realised so far… I eat a lot of biscuits For some reason since Joseph was born I have completely gone off chocolate, which is weird for me as it was one of my 5 a day. But my love of chocolate seems to have been replaced by biscuits. There are always biscuits in the…

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Feeding

Feeding

I was going to call this post ‘Bottle Feeding v Breastfeeding’, but to be honest I’m sick of them being pitted against each other. I just wanted to share my feeding journey and get some things about it off of my chest! While I was pregnant I made the decision that I was going to try breastfeeding, but if it didn’t work out I would give bottle feeding a go and not beat myself up about it too much. We…

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Our favourite baby products so far

Our favourite baby products so far

For such tiny people, they need a hell of a lot of stuff. We have been lucky to have been able to borrow a lot of the things from family and receive some as gifts, but for the other things I spent a long time researching them! Sleepyhead I don’t know where we’d be without the Sleepyhead! Joseph loved it from day 1 and no wonder, it looks so comfy and cosy! I wish they did an adult version…I swear…

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Recovering from a C Section

Recovering from a C Section

As I’ll cover in another post I had an emergency c section. It completely took me by surprise and as such I wasn’t prepared for it at all. It also wasn’t really touched upon in our antenatal classes so I thought it was worth a post all of its own! I know having a vaginal birth has its own problems and there are pros and cons of both, and I know that everyone’s experience is different but I can only…

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Ten things I won’t miss about being pregnant

Ten things I won’t miss about being pregnant

This post is really so I won’t forget what it was like to be pregnant! If we ever find ourselves considering having another one, I’ll make myself read this again before deciding. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m incredibly lucky to have fallen pregnant and had a healthy baby, but the pregnancy (and birth) was no walk in the park. I’ll never forget taking that pregnancy test. I was on my way home from work and I just had…

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